Unfiltered Homemaking: How To Make Your House Feel Like Home

Peaceful, joyful, comforting, safe, relaxing, harmonic… These are the words that come to mind when I think of my physical home. Not because it’s perfect, or “Instagrammable,” or anything idiosyncratic in nature, but because I’ve cultivated a space that myself and my family, love. My home is my haven. I adhere to the school of thought that, beyond the four walls, my home is my family. However, for the purpose of this blog, we are going to talk about home in the physical sense. As a woman who has moved quite a bit, probably more than 99% of my readers here on Unfiltered Womanhood, I have a ton of experience making every single house feel like home. In today’s blog, I wanted to share more on how I’ve been able to do so from a sensuous perspective, as well as give you practical tips to make your home your haven. 

Fun fact: Over the last 13 years, I’ve had what I feel is a distinct and unique privilege to have made a total of 11 houses feel like home for my family and me.

Based on all these years of experience, I believe that homemaking is what makes a house feel like home. Contrary to popular belief, I believe that anyone who desires to be a homemaker, can. Whether you’re a working mom, stay at home mom, or don’t have children… you can tap into homemaking. In my opinion, homemaking is about creating a safe and comfortable space that nurtures and nourishes, an inviting place where life unfolds, growth happens, and memories are made. So regardless of who you are, what you do, or how much time you have, you can use whatever time that life allows to make your house feel like home. 

There is also a quote from interior designer Nate Berkus that I love: “Your home should tell the story of who you are and be a collection of what you love.”

One of the simplest pieces of advice I like to give to anyone wanting to make their house feel like home is to think of the senses that are most important to you as they relate to your home and try out different things to ignite them.

Let’s explore our senses: sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. Personally, all five are important to me as they relate to my home; however, if you’re someone who is just wanting to get started, I’d recommend focusing on one or two senses to start and build up to the others in whatever time frame that works for you. Again, I’m 13 years in now, but I didn’t start with tapping into all five senses. I started with sight. 

I remember being in Florida a few months after having a baby, and getting settled into our home there. Well, as many of you may know, being a new mom, though so rewarding, can be overwhelming. We had so much stuff. Our home went from a super tidy setting to what looked like a daycare, overnight. Here I am over a decade later, and my home still resembles a daycare most days, but I’ve found a healthy balance now, and everything has a place for the most part. Back then, however, everything seemed to be placed on the kitchen counter. It ground my gears in a way that I didn’t think possible. So, I intentionally planned to at least keep my countertops clear, regardless of the daycare situation going on everywhere else. Something about clear countertops brings me both clarity and peace. My sweet husband Jamar, who is the best at speaking my love language, acts of service, was so happy to oblige my request, and always worked diligently to make sure my counters were clear, and still to this day, although they aren’t always perfect, he is constantly tidying up to provide me with the visual satisfaction I need when walking past or into the kitchen. Another way that I tapped into the sight of my home back then was with fresh flowers. It started with Jamar buying me fresh flowers every week, and seeing how happy they made me, not just because he was so sweet to think of me and do something special but having something fresh and beautiful in my home to look at on a weekly basis, instantly uplifted me. Regardless of how my day was going or the little rest I was getting, as soon as I saw my arrangement of flowers, I’d instantly feel happy in that moment. That is where my love of fresh flowers started. I soon took over Jamar’s purchasing of the flowers and turned it into a thing I did every week, because something about choosing the arrangements, building my own arrangements, going with the season, or my mood at the time just really gave me joy. Though my honey still buys me flowers just because and on special occasions, I keep up with the arrangements that are what I like to call centerpieces of our home on a bi-weekly basis now, because flowers are expensive. In any event, I just wanted to share how I started small, many years ago and built up to where I am now over time. Let’s dive into the senses and tips to ignite them in our homes.

Sight

Declutter, declutter, and declutter. If you have clutter, you must plan to get rid of it. Planning can include setting aside time once a day, once a week, once a month, or once quarterly to get rid of or organize things.

There is nothing more pleasant than being able to walk into your home without feeling overwhelmed with literal stuff, and things to do. Being a coach’s wife, I’ve naturally adopted the “One Year Rule,” which, in a nutshell, means if you haven’t used or worn something in a year, it’s likely you don’t need it. Of course, there are exceptions for things that hold sentimental value. And I will admit clothing is far harder for me than most… so we won’t even get into my closet, because quite a few pieces haven’t been worn in years. However, I just recently got rid of some clothes and have it organized in a way that doesn’t cause “to-do-list” anxiety. 

Another way to make your home more appealing to the eye is to add a fresh element. Whether you’re like me and love flowers and want to purchase fresh flowers on a regular basis, or you want to delve into the world of gardening and caring for an indoor plant, there is a ton of research that suggests adding a floral arrangement or plant to your space can have a direct impact on your overall mood. Fresh elements are said to add both calm and relief, and of course, vibrant colors create a cheerful atmosphere which can also boost the mood with bright energy. Bottom line is that the mere presence of living things, such as plants, or beautiful things, such as flowers, can have a positive psychological effect, and it provides a refreshing relief to look at something that is not a screen.

Last but certainly not the least, don’t underestimate the power of art or décor to add instant joy to your home. It doesn’t have to be pricey, many of my favorite pieces are from huge sales or discount stores. I even swap out a lot of my décor seasonally, and keep bins organized in my garage/storage shed for easy access and budget-friendly changes. Add pieces that make you smile and that bring you happiness, regardless of what’s trending or algorithmically aesthetic. The look of your home should reflect you and your family’s personal preferences. 

Hearing

Music to your ears… and to the ears of all in your home. One way to instantly set the mood you want for your home is to curate playlists that appeal to an array of emotions, vibes, and moods. For example, an upbeat playlist for energy, nostalgic songs for comfort, love songs for romance, calming sounds for relaxation, as well as a playlist for worship and quiet time with God. This has been a game changer for me! I’ve started to create seasonal playlists as well, and my family loves them, especially around the holidays when I do my holiday music playlist.

Another idea is to add in sounds of nature by opening your windows or doors and listening to the birds chirping, rain falling, wind blowing, leaves rustling, etc. If ASMR is your jam, then you may be more of a silence-in-the-home type of person, to be able to listen to the sounds of your appliances going, or coffee brewing, a tea kettle whistling, water running, etc. My last idea is white noise, which is one thing we can’t live without in my house. Whatever sound you’re into, make it a priority to hear it in your home, often.

Smell

Who doesn’t love walking into their home and having their nose greeted by a delightful aroma? One thing you’ll learn about me, if you don’t know already… I love to smell good, and I love for my space to smell good. There are so many ways to do this. One way that comes most naturally to me almost every day is by cooking. Whether I’m making a meal or baking a dessert, the smell of deliciousness permeating through my home as soon as you walk through the door is one of my favorites. Who doesn’t love the smell of fresh-baked cookies or bread? I can literally taste it before I’ve tasted it, through smell. This instantly creates a comforting and warm vibe to the home as well. Back when I was doing real estate, I would bake cookies right before an open house, and that was always the first thing potential buyers would comment on right away.

If you’re super busy, you can look into slow cooker meals and recipes that cook low and slow while you’re working or running errands that day. Nothing beats the smell of a delicious slow cooked pot roast the moment you enter your home after a long day. 

I’m also a lover of plug-ins and room sprays. A few of my affordable favorites are from Bath and Body Works, who almost always have a sale going on.  If you err more on the natural side, you can look into diffusing essential oils or making simmer pots. If you’re more of a candle person, you can have a signature candle scent or change it up seasonally… Can y’all tell how much I love a seasonal change-up? 

Taste

We kind of touched on taste in our last section, but let’s dive deeper. The kitchen is my literal playground, so I’m a bit biased; however, nothing says comfort or sets a comforting mood like a comforting meal or treat. During the football season, I bake weekly for our players and our family, and let me tell you, the store-bought treats just don’t compare. Imagine a world where when you walk into your kitchen, there is a jar of homemade chocolate chip cookies? You’ll be able to taste them before you taste them, trust me.

If you’re super busy during the week, consider setting aside time on a Saturday or Sunday. On average, I cook about 5 days a week, because I personally love it and find it therapeutic. There is something about a tender short rib, a perfectly seared piece of salmon or sea bass, a juicy roasted chicken, rich gravy over homemade mashed potatoes, and roasted veggies that make the taste buds sing, and brings me so much joy. 

If you’re not great at cooking or baking, that’s okay, most aren’t until they start experimenting and trying out different recipes. If you can follow directions, you too can create some of the best meals and desserts your family has ever tasted. I’ll have more on how to start and love your cooking journey, but for now, I’ll say start with the basics and recommend you start watching the Food Network and other cooking mediums for leisure. I’ve found so much cooking inspiration through the years by doing so. Just keep in mind, whether you cook seven times a week, or once a week, do what works best for you, your family, and your lifestyle, and enjoy it. I’ll have another blog coming soon about cooking, planning, prepping, and tips for making things easier, more affordable, and less stressful in the kitchen.

Other things to consider when cogitating taste are freshly brewed coffees and teas, and freshly made juices. I’m not a drinker, but a signature cocktail or mocktail in your home sounds like a game changer. I’m personally known for making a mean almond milk espresso latte for my husband and our guests. Taste is such an important aspect of making your house feel like home.

Touch

Last but certainly not the least, touch. The sense of touch can deeply impact how we feel in our homes… no pun intended. Consider the textures that surround you. A comfy sofa or bed, plush throws on the couch, soft linens on your bed, or a fuzzy rug, can all contribute to a sense of comfort. Think about adding tangible elements that bring coziness and warmth. For me it’s a plush robe and my house slippers. My family and I are all blanket lovers, we keep at least 5-6 blankets in our common areas at any given moment. I love to switch these out seasonally as well, because well… seasonal lover girl, here. I do the same with pillows for our couch as well.

Another way to ignite the touch sense can be with a pet, we have a dog, and there is something so calming about petting our pup.

Other ideas are gardening, sensory and stress relief tools, as well as a foot or body massager, heating pad, and other therapeutic staples that can elevate relaxation in your home. Don’t underestimate the power of touch to create a truly comforting and inviting home.

By consciously engaging your senses, you can transform your home into a sanctuary of peace and joy for yourself, your family, and your guests. Take a moment to pause, breathe, and appreciate the simple pleasures that surround you, as well as enhance, add, or change some things up to make your house feel like home. 

Until the next blog… continue loving and living life, unfiltered. 

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